As I listen to the words of Osho, and read his teachings, learnings, discussions, quiet reflections and the deeper I dwell in it, something completely unexpected emerges. Reverence. A beautiful space that I cannot believe I get to even be a part of albeit, as a wide eyed listener. Like a golden room with a thousand mirrors. Or a never ending garden experiencing never ending sunrise. This is my helpless way of expressing how it feels to experience the world his eyes see. And then I ask, but here I am stuck behind this rock of relationships, and all that and yes so, why do you make me yearn? This week has been all about exploring through my senses, while I watch my ego giving way to something new. It did not like the way it lived. Or the narrative it followed to the end. And Osho's words this week has been a comforting voice beside a dying man's bed. It is not all over. What I thought of me as scrapping the bottom of the barrel has been in fact cultivating depth to things that matter and a natural release of everything that I didn't believe was mine. His teachings this week has especially made me an active participant in relationships, clearly stating my observations, listening to true pain, offering the empathy that only shared suffering can bring and standing in my value system irrespective of the consequences. And it has been mind numbingly painful and freeing all at the same time. The world is plunging into darkness and it has nothing to do with what is happening on the outside. That has always happened and always will. But the radio installed within all of us screams directions only towards rage, hate and unforgiveness. So being the rebel is not following its instructions. And what strengthened my resolve was his words where he spoke about continuously dying to be in the present. Applying this to everyday life, just seems to make life joy, nothing else. All that which comes before that, the pain to get here, the anger that we carry, the bitterness that we must emerge from.. well that's just the long road home.