It is like leaving an amusement park that you have lived in all your life. Or maybe the circus? I guess it depends on what you were born into. If it's a family of tricksters, well, then tricking isn't exactly bad right? It is what keeps you connected to your family. The moments they spent teaching you their craft, knowingly or unknowingly is the true family time, not the dining table dinner conversation they show on tv. And then the world, in its ever expansion shows us where tricksters stand in comparison to absolute strangers. Suddenly, the very family you are born into, becomes something you want to wash yourself off of. The world shows there is salvation, the family questions loyalty and the self really just wants to make it another day without needing to choose. So year after year, the decision is pushed. I don't need to choose right now. When I have enough money. When I am married. When I have a career to stand alone. When, when, when. Till it just starts getting a little bit harder each day to go on without deciding. In spite of distractions. There is a clock that just seems to be getting louder. Well, choose, make a decision. Or forever hold your peace. And so after years of self work, family reconciliations and a hundred trips to nothingness, a decision is made. It is time to let my values take lead. It may hurt the family. It may anger society. It may hamper a certain future a woman like me must see. But all I own are the values I quietly formed in all of these years while leading a life I thought I must lead. And as the value horses pick speed, taking me out of my co-dependent wonderland.... and the light gets brighter, the end of the tunnel seems to be getting closer.... a new land crops up. The land of the 'are you sure?' entertainers. As the beauty of it sashays around you, they slowly whisper... "We can make this better than you ever wanted. How about you get it all... only that it is so much better. Shinier. Coz you deserve it. Look at all the self-work you have put in. You superstar. You get the gold class if you stay on!! Imagine the years people thought you didn't make it. Let us show them!" It is only in this very moment the decision can be made. All, up until then.. it is rehearsal. Welcome to the end of the tunnel. It is real-time from here.