When we think of Meditation, we think of techniques, procedures, mats, incense, 'mahol'(the 'right ambience') for it..
And then one can visualize oneself in a calm collected peaceful space. Smiling. Feeling like a Buddha.
Meditating. Almost Levitating 🙂
But I am now beginning to think it is a facade.
It's a bit like the difference between playing cricket in the nets v/s the World Cup match.
No matter how well you bat in the nets, it doesn't matter until you a able to execute those shots in the actual game.
This is not to say that the practice is not important.
Practice is critical. But it's NOT everything.
WRT Meditation, we often setup very elaborate, polished, sophisticated ways to build the right 'mahol' around ourselves in life.
We establish 'tight boundaries' around ourselves so that triggers cannot reach us.
We label others as toxic. We hide in the comfort of our homes and don't take on newer challenges in the name of being content. Whereas we are actually avoiding the potential discomfort of going outside our comfort zones.
Basically we try to 'control' our lives so that we don't get triggered.
And for a while it works.
But then LIFE being the beautiful, unexplainable thing it is, finds a way to catch up with us 🙂
This time, over Diwali my parents came down from Mumbai to spend time with us.
My self image is that of someone who's had multiple closures with them.
And I think I am largely at peace being myself in the shared space which gets created when we live together for an extended time. But again, this time, like every time, there were other aspects which came up which showed me the unresolved areas in my relationship with them.
Since they usually live in Mumbai and we are in Bangalore, our sharp edges don't rub each other so much and so we live in the illusion that we are 'resolved'. But the true test of our work is in seeing it getting tested in newer situations which come up & seeing if we are able to stay at peace.
Like Shams of Tabriz once said - We can’t find the Truth only listening to our own voice’s echo.
We can find ourselves only in someone’s mirror.
No matter how 'resolved' we are. We can see it's true reflection only in the presence of people - i.e. in the Marketplace.
This is not to say that we must NOT quit situations and people which are detrimental to the kind of life we want to live.
But it is important to truly listen to our inner monologue & honestly identify when we are making choices out of fear.
Meditation begins in self observation and is rooted in self acceptance.
And an act of running away from the Marketplace stems from avoidance.
So it cannot be Meditation.